Of This And That . . .

I’m on my own these past few weeks. Well, unless you count all the dogs, and they sleep most of the time. So unless you count the speed bumps all over the floor, I still feel like I’m on my own.

I’m talking human companionship here. I’m the only human in the house right now.

I look forward to this brief respite once a year when my son isn’t here. When he was little, it was a relief not to have to be “on” all the time — what’s he doing? Is he okay? Now that he’s older, it’s a little more of a pain ’cause I have to wash the dishes and take out the trash — and I’d like to add that my friends who said, “If you need any help out there on your own, let us know!” were *not* willing to take care of these important things for me, so how sincere were they? Really?!

But, I digress —

I wonder sometimes what kind of Empty Nester I’ll be. You know, those ladies who are lost when their kids leave and they’re alone at home. I get a taste of it every year, and I gotta say, I think I’ll handle it just fine.

Like when I took a shower the other day and forgot to take my clothes or a robe into the bathroom with me. It really was nice not to have to announce, “DON’T LOOK!” and dash to my room.

Or like when I was on my computer the other day, playing my Pinochle tournament (does anyone play Pinochle anymore?) in my big t-shirt and panties, realizing that I could take *those* off, too, if I wanted! And prance around the house, too, if I wanted!

Or like when I was doing laundry yesterday and thought, “Boy, I’d sure like to throw these clothes I’m wearing in there, but . . .” And then the sudden realization that there was no “but!” Well, there was — ’cause I just striped ‘em off and threw ‘em in the washer, again without the necessity of any announcements or scooting about.

It was the laundry thing that made me realize that all the stuff I was thinking was so kewl involved clothes, or the lack thereof!

My son is going to be gone for good in a year or two. (Maybe sooner if he doesn’t shape up!) I’m going to miss him, yes, and when he does something that’s particularly kewl or says something unexpected that makes me laugh right down to my toes, I’m reminded of that line from one of the Indiana Jones movies. Harrison Ford and Sean Connery are talking about their father-son relationship. And that’s when Sean Connery (the Dad, of course!) says something like, “Just when you were getting interesting, you left!”

My son *is* getting interesting. He’s still a pain in the butt — he’s still a kid, after all — but he’s awesome and I’m so proud of him. He makes me laugh, now, more often than he makes me cry and I’m enjoying that immensely.

Soon I’ll be finding out if I enjoy that more than running around the house nekked.

I really like the ideas you can pick up from the Fly Lady. I don’t have a chance in hell of doing everything every day, or every week, that she has on her lists, but it helps a lot.

My sink doesn’t get shined every day ’cause, let’s be honest here, there’s usually too many dishes in the way to do that. And I don’t do the “Swish and Swipe” every day, either, but I do get it done several times a week and it sure helps.

Since I’m an “all or nothing” girl, you can imagine what my house used to look like. If I couldn’t do *everything* why bother to do *anything*?! If I learned anything from her, it was that little five, ten or fifteen minute bits here and there make a big difference — and they do!

Frankly, it was a revelation to find that I didn’t *really* have to do a “full clean” on that bathroom to get it presentable! But one thing that bothered me about her advice here was to keep a crock beside the toilet with the toilet brush and some cleaner in it. This just grossed me out. Yes, I have kids and pets — and she does say this isn’t good for them! — but even if I didn’t I wouldn’t want that sitting there looking at me all the time.

She also says you can get brush caddies with lids on them — but they’re all plastic! I’m such a spaz, I *would* be doing a full clean on the bathroom several times a week to clean up the mess after I knocked it over.

I also imagined a crock full of nasty scum after a week or so. This whole thing just sounded gross.

I went to the Goodwill store to try to find something that would work. Musta been my lucky day because I found a fancy trash bucket! It was bathroom size (as a matter of fact it was part of a bath accessory set) and weighed a ton. It’s ceramic or porcelain, or something like that. That bad boy is *not* going anywhere! Then, I hid it in the cabinet under the sink. Added some water, a toilet brush, and a squirt or two of dishwashing liquid, and my experiment was ready to go.

I’m thinking about this today because it’s been several months since I put that under there. And today I pulled it out to do my “thing” and notice that, while most of the water had evaporated, there was *no* nastiness in there at all. It looked like I could probably wash my dishes with it, though, of course, NOT!

So, if you’ve read that “how to” and thought “YUCK!!!” I can tell you it really does work, it really does help, makes it easy and quick to do your “Swish and Swipe” and, for me anyway, I no longer feel like I need to lock the bathroom and tell unexpected visitors that, yes, my son really does take three hour showers.

We got the news today that the company my husband is working for will be paying him less. But only until the economy turns around. And to make us feel better, we’re told that the executives won’t be getting their bonuses this year.

I don’t know what’s worse — the fact that he’s working harder and getting paid less at a job that didn’t pay that much in the first place (our income is just above the poverty line as it is) or the fact that they really think the people that work for them are so stupid that they actually buy this crap.

This company has been making cuts for years. They’ve just been using different excuses. The “bad economy” is just the latest and most convenient one right now.

Hey, executive guys — wanna make me feel better? Cut your pay by 40%. Why don’t you try working a 70 hour week while getting paid the equivalent of one minimum wage job. How about putting in three or four hours a day that you don’t get paid for.

Of the top four executives of this trucking company — according to the company bios on the website — not one of them has ever had a job actually driving a truck. Why don’t you guys try that for a year or two?

Might give you bean counters a little perspective.

I’ve come to the conclusion that sagging boobs are Mother Nature’s way of saying, “You don’t need these anymore — we’ll store them in the basement.”

I don’t know why we can’t use the attic.

Every spring I wait. It is a time of suspense and intrigue!

It isn’t a fun, butterflies-in-the-stomach wait, like on Christmas Eve when you’re seven years old. And it’s not a gut-churning, butt-burning-before-it’s-even-smacked wait, like when you’ve been told “Wait til your father gets home!”

It falls somewhere in between, but it’s still a mystery waiting to be solved! I have no control over it. I can only wait. Patience has nothing to do with it. You can’t rush it, so being patient is irrelevant.

Only Mother Nature can answer the question, and we have this year’s answer!

What is the answer, Alex? I’ll take “I Hate Nature” for $1000 please!

ANTS!

The question is: What will invade my home this year?

I’m not talking about an ant or two that happens to find it’s way into the sugar container.

I’m talking about a total invasion.

They are in the microwave. They are on the stove. They are in the dog food bin. They are in the “junk” drawer — and what they found in there to snack on, I’m almost afraid to look!

But, that’s not all!

They’re in the living room, the bathroom, and the bedrooms!

They’re everywhere!

But they’re also sneaky!

We have only found one true ant trail. That’s right — just one.

So, apparently, they’re in the walls and in the floors, too — ’cause they’re not traveling via a route that we can follow!

One year it was crickets. One year it was grasshoppers. One year it was roaches. We’re out in the country, so you can always count on a few wood roaches — but one year it was *really* bad. One year it was mice.

This year, it’s ants. A week ago — nothing. This morning? They’ve totally taken over the place.

Now, since you have to wait until the culprit is revealed each year, you can’t stock up on the proper poisons — and yes, I have no qualms about killing them dead, dead, DEAD! They have acres and acres outside where they can flourish and live happy lives. If they are adrenaline junkies who insist on invading my space, they deserve what they get.

Now fully armed with weapons of, hopefully, mass insect destruction, I am off to commence the massacre.

Thank you, SwapADVD!!

We’re still doing family night, though sometimes it’s tough coming up with things to do! Not anymore! You are not going to believe the great score I made!

I’ve belonged to PaperbackSwap for quite awhile and while I’ve received some nasty books, most of them have been in great condition and a considerable number of them look like they’re brand new. I was hesitant to try the same thing with DVDs, though. I don’t have much luck with those when I buy them at the store, and I wasn’t sure I’d want one someone else had taken a crack at.

As an aside — who decided this was “the” format for movies — or data storage of any kind? I mean, seriously, I have VHS tapes that are 25 years old that still play like they’re new. DVDs? They’re so temperamental — and same with CDs. I don’t buy many CDs but the ones I do buy are copied several times “just in case.” I’d love for them to sue me so I can tell anyone and everyone how I’m tired of being ripped off. Alas, I’m not into “file sharing” so they’ll probably never even know I exist.

But — that’s not really my point.

Okay, so I was cleaning up the bookcase one day and there were dozens of DVDs that we’ll never watch again. So I joined SwapADVD, posted ‘em, sent ‘em out, and put a few things on my wish list, one of which was Six Feet Under — the complete series. Check out that kewl box!

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine anyone would actually send it to me.

Usually what happens with these swap sites is someone comes along, posts something really neet like this, realizes a lot of other people want it and then think, “Hey — if this is so great, maybe I better hold on to it!” So it gets posted, but it never gets sent. Swapper’s Remorse.

Not only did this get posted, it was sent, received and it was brand new!! Still shrink wrapped! I couldn’t believe it! How kewl is THAT?!

When I PM’d the guy to let him know how thrilled I was, he says, “Yeah — I thought you might like to have a new one.” Talk about an understatement! I received this a couple of months ago and I’m still lovin’ it.

Okay, so anyway — our family night is “covered” for months — years? — to come.

Forget putting them upside down in a warm oven — my preferred method for the longest time. It’s a mess, not to mention the fact that the only fire we’ve ever had in the kitchen was started when my son (then a wee lad) turned on the oven without looking inside first. It was never serious, but it sure scared him.

I wish I knew where I read this, so I could give proper credit. It certainly wasn’t my idea. But, since I’m de-waxing a neet jar right now, I figured I’d write about it ’cause it’s easy peasy. And I’m especially happy because I hate to throw things away — my family is going to want to kill me when it comes time to clean up my stuff after I’m dead. I’m sure they will be happy to throw it away!

But . . . I digress . . .

Boiling water. Just pour boiling water into the jar — or anything else you want to save after the candle is long gone. That’s it.

Hate surprises? Okay — I’ll tell you what happens.

The boiling water melts the wax, and also does a pretty good job of getting the other ickies out of there, too, like the black stuff that collects on the side when the candle gets burned down so low you can’t trim the wick.

Leave the jar, let the water cool, and what do you have? A nice, neat glob of wax that you just lift out of the jar. Of course, most jars are smaller on the top than they are on the bottom, so the disc of wax you end up with won’t come out in one piece. Stick a table knife in there, break it in half, and remove the pieces.

That’s it.

I usually do this twice to get any bits that really really don’t want to leave home.

It’s cleaner, faster, easier and more effective than the warm oven method, and you don’t have to mess with wax in your sink or worry about it getting into your septic tank.

Kewl, huh?

We’re still dealing with the aftermath of a huge winter storm that came through here last Tuesday and Wednesday morning.

I think some people are confusing “being prepared” with controlling Mother Nature. I’ve seen a lot of talk about how the areas involved weren’t prepared because the power is out and the roads are closed. Um — there was a big storm. “Being prepared” doesn’t mean putting a dome over the state and thwarting the storm!

Being prepared means — on an individual level — that you have bottled water, a source of heat, and food you can actually use when the power goes out! It doesn’t mean the power won’t go out.

This storm wasn’t a big surprise. There were weather reports about it for days before it hit. And yet? There was still news footage about people lined up in front of Wal-Mart the day after, looking for bottled water and generators.

From comments that other people have made on some of the forums I read, I’m getting the impression that they think “being prepared” means that someone else should make sure they have power and water and food when something like this hits.

I’m a pessimist. Yes, it’s one of the things that I’m trying to work on. But it appears that a “Murphy” attitude is a good thing to have when things like this come up. I will only say that we were as prepared as we could be for the storm that came through this past week. Yes, we’ve done without — and I still can’t get my car out of the driveway. Even if I could, our road is impassible without 4-wheel drive.

It would appear from some of the feedback I’ve received to my comments on other forums that people think I have an “every man for himself” attitude about these things. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

For instance, I have heat here when the power goes out. Many of my neighbors do not. Would I tell them to go away when it’s cold at night because they didn’t think to find an alternative heat source when the power goes out? Of course not! On the other hand, I don’t have a 4-wheel drive vehicle, but several of my neighbors do, and one of them just ran me to the store this morning.

If everyone does what they *can* do, then your neighbors will have what you don’t, and vice versa. So then everyone can help in their own way.

But “being prepared” doesn’t mean sitting on your butt and praying that the storm won’t really be “that bad.” “Being prepared” means assuming it will be worse.

I’ve been rethinking a lot of things lately. The new year tends to do that to people. So I’m cleaning house. I’ve been spending a lot of time in places where I don’t belong. So I’ve decided to stop doing that. I’ve always known I’m a square peg, and it really doesn’t bother me that much. But I don’t see much sense in trying to fit into the round holes. It’s just not going to happen.

On the one hand, it would be nice to find people I can relate to — and who can relate to me — without having to worry about a lot of back stabbing and gossip. As I get older, it gets worse, not better. I will never understand why people can’t just accept others as they are. I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I don’t steal. Considering the kinds of things that people complain about lately, you’d think that would be enough. But it’s not. And what they don’t know, they make up. Sheesh.

Then, on the other hand, I think the world is better off that there *aren’t* more people like me in it. I mean, I know I’m a little — hum — is “odd” the word I’m looking for? Okay — but I really prefer eccentric.

Someone told me not too long ago that you had to be rich to be eccentric. Obviously, that is not the case.

We always have cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning. I realized last night, I didn’t buy any.

In an effort to try to do something special today, I made these cinnamon rolls.

They were absolutely amazing. I think my guys will turn their noses up at anything from the store now. Even if you don’t think you know how to bake, give it a try. I did the dough in my bread machine and I have never had dough this beautiful before.