Every spring I wait. It is a time of suspense and intrigue!
It isn’t a fun, butterflies-in-the-stomach wait, like on Christmas Eve when you’re seven years old. And it’s not a gut-churning, butt-burning-before-it’s-even-smacked wait, like when you’ve been told “Wait til your father gets home!”
It falls somewhere in between, but it’s still a mystery waiting to be solved! I have no control over it. I can only wait. Patience has nothing to do with it. You can’t rush it, so being patient is irrelevant.
Only Mother Nature can answer the question, and we have this year’s answer!
What is the answer, Alex? I’ll take “I Hate Nature” for $1000 please!
ANTS!
The question is: What will invade my home this year?
I’m not talking about an ant or two that happens to find it’s way into the sugar container.
I’m talking about a total invasion.
They are in the microwave. They are on the stove. They are in the dog food bin. They are in the “junk” drawer — and what they found in there to snack on, I’m almost afraid to look!
But, that’s not all!
They’re in the living room, the bathroom, and the bedrooms!
They’re everywhere!
But they’re also sneaky!
We have only found one true ant trail. That’s right — just one.
So, apparently, they’re in the walls and in the floors, too — ’cause they’re not traveling via a route that we can follow!
One year it was crickets. One year it was grasshoppers. One year it was roaches. We’re out in the country, so you can always count on a few wood roaches — but one year it was *really* bad. One year it was mice.
This year, it’s ants. A week ago — nothing. This morning? They’ve totally taken over the place.
Now, since you have to wait until the culprit is revealed each year, you can’t stock up on the proper poisons — and yes, I have no qualms about killing them dead, dead, DEAD! They have acres and acres outside where they can flourish and live happy lives. If they are adrenaline junkies who insist on invading my space, they deserve what they get.
Now fully armed with weapons of, hopefully, mass insect destruction, I am off to commence the massacre.
